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Thursday, 13 August 2009

7 women reveal how they dared to step outside their Sexual boundaries

One person’s “Gross!” may be your “Oh, yes!” What freaks you out in bed might be just a typical Saturday evening at your neighbor’s house. Something deeply romantic to your friend could make you roll your eyes.

Everyone’s line in the sexual sand is different, but a lot of us have a mental note filed away about a deed we’d never do: an act too embarrassing, degrading, uncomfortable or perhaps even taboo. But, as the saying goes, “Never say never.”

In fact, “pushing sexual boundaries can create excitement that fuels other aspects of your life,” says Julie Holland, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine in New York City.

Seven women (names have been changed for privacy) reveal what led them to take erotic leaps they swore they wouldn’t. Learn why breaking your commandments can be a source of growth and cause for celebration.

‘I grew to love sex toys’
The steamy scene. Natalie, 38, learned about sex from whispering classmates and Judy Blume’s “Forever.” As a teen, she began babysitting for a conservative family in her neighborhood. “I snooped around one night and discovered a dildo in the bedside table. It totally grossed me out!” All grown up 15 years later, Natalie developed chronic repetitive stress injuries in her wrists on her job as a data processor. When she told friends that the painful strain meant no more orgasms, one gave her a sex toy, in part as a joke. “I was weirded out by the gift, but they say necessity is the mother of invention, so I began to use it a little.”

How it felt. “It produced a little heat, which was arousing, and I liked how the broad, flattened top felt stimulating all over,” Natalie says. “It felt so good that I quickly got over my anti-toy feelings.”

Is she normal? According to a poll, 33 percent of you use sex toys, whereas 24 percent don’t own any now but would be game to give mechanical playthings a go in the future.

Want to try it? Consider adding a small gadget such as a pocket rocket to your repertoire and invite your partner. Natalie hasn’t used her toy with her husband yet, but says that’s “the next step, even though I worry he’ll think I feel he’s inadequate.” Introducing a toy “might actually please your partner more than you think,” says Sharyn Wolf, a clinical social worker in New York City. “It may feel illicit, forbidden and exciting for him to see you so turned on.

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