Friday, 18 November 2011
What should you consider before trying for a baby?
Before you decide to have a child, you should carefully consider a couple of very important issues.
Pregnancies often come about unexpectedly, but all the possibilities and propaganda relating to contraception lead to more and more people deciding to have a child strategically and consciously. In order to make things easier and clearer for you, we have prepared a list about what you should take into consideration before deciding to have a child.
Do you feel unwanted, worthless, emotionally drained and depressed but still want a baby because it will fill an empty spot in your life? Filling a void is just not an argument when deciding to have a child. It may be true that a child will love you unconditionally and will depend solely on you, but expecting a baby to fulfill your own emotional needs would be selfish and in the long run unrealistic. Another no-no is deciding to have a child to strengthen your rocky relationship with your partner or fetter him to you on the grounds of having a child together. This ultimately leads to bad marriages and unhappy childhoods.
There’s No Place like Home
Once you decide to have a child and become a family many things change – we’re not talking only about profound emotional changes but also about the inevitable practicalities. For instance, take the time to think about the place your family will call home. Are you still living in a two-room apartment with your parents, and you don’t get along too well? Are you living on campus with a roommate who’s on the verge of a mental breakdown because she’s writing her diploma thesis? Or are you and your partner seriously thinking about renting your own apartment but the chances to do so are slim since you can’t afford the furniture and other necessary equipment? All these things are worth considering thoroughly and carefully. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can have a baby only if you’re the proud owner of a house (which is a heavy investment in today’s economy), but what it does mean is that you need to consider the possible shortcomings of your present home and think about solutions before you have a baby.
Before deciding to have a child, you should keep in mind that having a family is expensive. Although babies are small, take up little space and don’t eat that much, all the necessary equipment you’ll need to take proper care of your treasure can be pricy. The monthly expenses increase heavily when having a child; therefore you should really consider your financial options. Can you count on your parents to support you and on the baby’s father if you aren’t living together? And more importantly, are you really aware that you will have to put your child first and that all of your other needs and priorities will take second place? You should only decide to have a child once you’ve considered all the important issues and made sure that you’ll be able to provide for them emotionally and financially. There’s also the option of acquiring child benefits if you’re unable to manage on your own financially. Take your time and get all the necessary information beforehand.
With all this in mind, you should also think about your partner before deciding to have a child. Is he reliable? Can you count on him to help and support you? Does he even want to be a father? Is he prepared and able to provide for your family? If you find that your partner is less than suitable, that still doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t father your child. The society’s fixation on “heterosexual core family values” is not crucial for raising a child appropriately, though having a “mommy and daddy” is usually the best option. What is more important is that your child grows up in a motivating, positive environment with positive, responsible and mature role models, may that be the child’s grandmother, your best friend or any of your siblings. Still, bringing up a child without a father could socially stigmatize you and your child, so be aware of this fact before having your baby.