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Monday 28 November 2011

Dating a Man with Cancer


The process of dating is a sensitive one and requires a lot of give and take on both sides. To take your relationship to another level, both partners need to be considerate and patient. This understanding takes on a whole new meaning when you are dating a man with cancer. More than a lover, a cancer patient needs a friend who has coherence and common sense.

Dating someone suffering from cancer can be very trying but if you truly care for your man, you can enjoy several moments of togetherness. You have to keep a few things in mind though:

  • Don’t press him for commitment: When he is not sure about his life, how can he make promises for a future with you? As of now, he needs your love and friendship without any expectation for returns. You have to stand beside him and battle his war along with him.
  • Help him enjoy normal life: It is natural for him to slip into a ‘nothing matters anymore’ mode. You, as his support, have to make him see the beauty of ordinary life and help him steer clear of drugs and drinking.
  • Try and bear his anger: Understand his anger. He is angry with his body and with fate for striking him with a rough hand. Try and understand his terror. He wants to be normal but has no surety. This makes dating a man with cancer extremely unpredictable. He will have mood swings but you have to help him get past the anger to an acceptance stage.
  • Make him enjoy each day: Once he has accepted his disease, he will be willing to enjoy each day as one more day to call his own. Help him have faith in his treatment and plan things that are fun for both of you.
  • Keep a check on your emotions: If you give-in to catharsis, things can turn out pretty messy. Of course, it’s not easy to be dating a man with cancer, but since it’s a choice you’ve made, you need to be strong. He is already battling a lot; do not overburden him with your emotional baggage as well.
  • Let him be as independent as he can: People with cancer often seek a platform to assert their independence. They don’t want to lose control completely and shy away from being overcared. Understand and watch over him from a distance.


A lot of understanding and consideration goes into a relationship. Dating a man with cancer can be very demanding and is bound to leave you emotionally drained. Nevertheless, keeping the love you have for your man in mind, you can help him fight this disease and be the support he so desperately requires.

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